This weekend we stopped by the local crafts village, it's a fabulous place to go for gifts and Santa was supposed to be there with a horse and wagon ride. Last year Milo was afraid of Santa and I'm not one to insist on a mall photo of the kids on Santa's knee, so I thought this would be a neat way to spend a little quality time with Santa and get our own photos.
We got there early and didn't have to wait in line and we were only one of two families on this first ride up and down Main Street. It was fun, the horses were beautiful and decked out in bells that made a lot of noise as we rode along. We felt like we were in a parade with people stopping to wave at Santa. We waved too and I noticed that everyone had a smile.
Santa's a special guy, full of magic and wonder and mystery, and everyone loves him. Right? Hmmm. Well, after the ride we were walking back to the car and Milo said, "I don't think that was the real Santa." Oh oh. How do I respond to this? I asked him what he meant, and he said that he thought this Santa was just a guy in a suit and that even though his beard was real, he was in a costume.
Part of me really dislikes lying to the kids, I wanted to say, you are right Milo! How perceptive of you at just four years old to see through the gimmick. But then, how could I take that wonderful thing that is Santa away from him by being all adult and explaining it to him. So I kind of fudged it and told him that Santa is full of magic and he appears in all kinds of ways and in all kinds of places. And I left it at that. Vagueness is a mother's friend when it comes to tricky situations like these.
After some thought, I think I realized that it wasn't that Milo didn't believe in Santa at all, it was that this particular Santa just didn't measure up to the idea that he had in his head. This Santa was too normal, too boring, it was perhaps too much time with him and not enough specialness. He just wasn't wowing us, you know? No belly like a bowl full of jelly, no Ho Ho Ho, not even much of a twinkle. And where was the sleigh, Milo wanted to know. Santa has a sleigh with reindeer, not a wagon with horses.
Maybe there is something about the mall Santa. Having to wait in line, only getting a few seconds for a photo and then having to move along. The mystery remains, the magic is still possible.
The whole Santa thing is weird to me, as a parent. First of all, this Santa liked hugging ME just a little too much. It was a bit creepy. I believe this Santa's favorite part of the job was hugging the Moms that brought their kids to him. You have to wonder, all these white bearded men can't just be completely altruistic and wanting to have all these little kids sitting on their laps because it's nice, right? Am I being too cynical here? Sigh...
This is a short video of Santa on the wagon ride. Santa? What are you thinking about? I'll bet it's not about toys and elves and how to befriend the polar bears at the North Pole.
Truthfully, I'd rather my kids never meet a "real" Santa again. It kind of takes away all the mystery and leaves the kids with questions and wondering. Unless it's a real fabulous kind of thing, with smoke and magic and lots of Ho Ho Hos. Or maybe that let down with a "real" Santa is just part of learning about this particular cultural ritual. It happens gradually and in different ways and eventually it all adds up to understanding.
So, how do you explain Santa to your kids? Do you hype it up and lie away? Or do you play it down and let them think what they want? Or do you tell them the honest truth and feel good that they know?
I don't think my parents ever said that Santa wasn't real. It was always just a little bit more information, a few more clues, until at some point I thought I had it figured out and I might have felt that my parents still had the wool over their eyes. Or not, I really can't remember, which means they must have handled it just right. It was fun and exciting all throughout my childhood and it just became ok that we were all pretending together.
I found this clip from Miracle on 34th Street in which the mother tries to convince her daughter that a Santa that works at Macy's isn't real, but it seems that maybe this is the real Santa after all. If only every Santa could be like this guy.
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